Tuesday, April 10, 2007

From the past to the present…the wooing of a city girl…. (Pt.3)

Have you any idea what ensues in the typical ob/gyn office when a woman...a really old mature woman is found to be pregnant at 42!  PANIC!!!! Of course they see this gift of God as a "problem" that needs to be taken care of...which, of course, they offered to do.  They were most kind and understanding as they offered to tear this unborn child from my womb where God had placed him. They assured me, in the most convincing and comforting words, that this child would be deformed, have Down's syndrome or some other "unacceptable" birth defect.. I would be making the "right choice" by following their advice.  After all, they reminded me, this would be your FOURTH C-section....that would be SO dangerous....you could die, the baby could die....Gloom and Doom were their theme songs.

The really awful thing is that they were talking to me as if they knew that I would follow this advice without question.  Their attitude told me that, unfortunately, this was the normal response for most women....to blindly follow their advice...after all they are DOCTORS....and I am "just a woman"....
When I informed them that I had every intention of keeping this child, that I was thrilled that God had graciously placed another life in my womb and that I trusted Him with both my life and the baby's life...well...that is when the PANIC ensued!  From their reactions, they must have assumed that I was delusional and needed medication to come to the correct decision (read: their decision).  Many people visited my little examination room - all doing their best to convince me that my life was in danger....that I would be sorry....that  this blessed little life was sure to be flawed...one person even used the word "worthless"...it sickened me! How do young girls withstand this onslaught?  Especially those who don't know our precious Saviour and what His word says?  The pressure to cave in to their will was intense!

Once they realized I would not be swayed...they then began discussing a multitude of tests with me.  Tests that would "show" us what defects the child had (note that they didn't use the words "might have") so that we could THEN end this little life.   Sort of a..."I'll prove to you that the child is not healthy or whole and THEN you will be willing to do the right thing" approach.   The fact that the tests endanger the pregnancy was glossed over - after all, if you don't think the little child is worth anything..then why would it bother them to cause a miscarriage? I looked at everyone in the room and calmly uttered two small words..."NO TESTS".

Complete silence followed my announcement.  I then gently explained that I would accept from the hand of God whatever He chose to give me...if it was CP,  Down's syndrome, or some other birth defect...it didn't matter.  If God chose to bless me with a child with special needs then He would give me the grace to get through it...but there would not be, under any circumstances, any tests...for two reasons.  I would not want to endanger this pregnancy and it didn't matter what the tests showed - I was keeping this baby!  I am sure at this point, from the looks on their faces, that someone was thinking of "Baker Acting" me.  Then they brought out the legal waivers.  All of those lovely documents that state that they have explained the dangers, recomended tests A, B, and C and that I have refused the tests...therefor they are not to be held liable when the baby is born with problems.  To their great relief I signed them all happily.

It was not an easy pregnancy - I could tell a big difference from pregnancy at 36 (which was frowned upon at that time!) and pregnancy at 42!  I spent a good deal of it on bedrest because of a fall that sent me into early labor.  These same doctors who were so willing to rip the life from my womb, turned around and fought hard to save that same life....isn't that strange?  I never understood it.  This gave me much "down time" (literally) to spend in the Word.  It was during this time that God really began speaking to me about relying on Him and not others....in all things.  He began to show me that in living the typical American lifestyle, I relied on others for everything and very little on Him for anything outside of the spiritual realm.  God was revealing to me that He wanted more of me.

We lived the "normal" American life.  We were active in church and my boys were involved in several sports and other activities in the homeschooling community.  We ran to the store often, out to eat occasionally and saw friends when we could. We lived in a small house in a nice neighborhood, mowed the lawn on the weekends and cleaned house on Saturday mornings.  We went to the park, the beach, Disney World and other Florida attractions.  We looked and lived like everybody else...except, perhaps for the homeschooling.....but there was a HUGE homeschooling community in Florida so we always had plenty of activities to choose from.  We were comfortable.

God began to show me something better.  God also began to point out the dangers of this life.  I saw them every year during hurricane season.  Store shelves emptied...people hoarding with the intent to make money when the disaster hit....people totally relying on "the system". But what if the system broke?  What if YOUR system broke?  What if the trucks didn't roll right after the hurricane (tornado, power outage,  terrorist attack...)?  What if the store shelves stayed empty?  Outside of God supplying manna again, my little family would have been in deep trouble! 

God began to remind me of my childhood - my grandparents' home where the root cellar was always stocked with food - where Grandma had a pantry filled with canned goods...where water flowed from wells or springs. I remembered my Aunt Annie's home and garden filled with veggies, herbs and flowers.  I remembered family stories about how my great-grandparents' farms saved our family during the depression.  They would come to town once a week and bring fresh eggs, home churned butter, meat and home-canned goods or fresh garden goodies to the other members of the family....the city dwellers.  If it hadn't been for those visits from the farm, the city dwellers in my family might not have survived the Great Depression!

God began to show me, through the parables, through Proverbs and other verses, what life could be like....what life should be like.  More dependant on Him and much less on "the system". God was wooing me to country life!

19 comments:

  1. Thanks for the next installment!

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  2. You're welcome - see you soon!
    Cheri

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  3. I am enjoying reading your story, you have led a very facinating life. I'm glad that I found your site and blog.

    God Bless,
    Patrice

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  4. Hey I have question for you~~~are you a member on Homesteading today? If so what is your user name? Thanks.

    Patrice

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  5. I'm sorry you had to go through such an experience, I know with everything else a pregnancy entails, the medical commmunity should be the first to offer support and encouragement. But, alas no. At least not with 'high-risk' pregnancies anymore, and that definition has changed also.
    When I had my sixth c-section at 40 and my seventh at 43, no doctor would see me in the town where I lived (some even lied to avoid me). I had to drive 90 min. one way to another city to get o.b. care. Even the doctor who delivered those babies almost had a breakdown when I told him no tests (I've been refusing since they were offered at the ripe old age of 27).
    It is certainly demoralizing to be treated like you have a disease. If I had listened to any of my doctors, I would have only one child...it makes me sad to think there are women who have listened because they were alone or afraid and had no other voice to encourage them.
    I'm glad you were able to be a witness of faith and courage. Perhaps they stopped sounding alarms with other women who may have the same circumstances, but less faith.
    God bless you!
    From the suburbs to a working farm...I'm looking forward to hearing how you finally made the leap. To realize what a real home farm can actually do to sustain a nation...Wow! Very inspiring. :)

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  6. I was blessed that I had our first child at 34 and my last at 43 -- and my doctors never suggested a termination in pregnancy. It definitely was a rough road, though, with being older and going through pregnancies. It definitely was worth every ache and pain, though!

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  7. Hi Patrice,
    I'm not a member there. Glad you are enjoying the blog :)
    Cheri

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  8. Cheri, I had a somewhat similar experience with my 3rd pregnancy. A routine urine test revealed a 'problem'. The baby would either have CP or Downs. Amniocentisis was recommended.

    I refused. Several months later our beautiful, perfectly healthy Daniel was born. Praise God!

    His desire is to serve the LORD in fulltime ministry.

    BTW, we are home now - thanks so much again for your hospitality - and we think your boys are great!

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  9. Julia,
    Wow, I admire you! Isn't it amazing how they have come to treat pregnancy as a disease. Late in life babies used to be common and considered a blessing....now they are something to "take care of"....how God must weep at our foolishness!
    Thanks so much for leaving this comment.
    Blessings,
    Cheri

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  10. Hi Lynn,
    Wow, you must have had special doctors - what a blessing! Isn't it amazing what a few years difference in age makes?!
    Blessings,
    Cheri

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  11. Hi Cheri,
    Next time we want to fellowship over a meal! I wonder how many healthy babies are sacrificed because a test says that there is a problem...

    Glad you had a safe trip home. I must say that we are selfishly hoping you will be making the trip again soon :)

    Bless you guys!
    Cheri

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  12. I also had to sign all those papers that stated I had been told about the tests and declined just yesterday. My wife and I also heard our first baby's heartbeat for the first time!

    It says "whew, whew, whew, whew, KERERERK!" That last sound was my wife's uncontrolable laughter at the funny little sound.

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  13. Hi Clint,
    How exciting!!! Keep in touch and let us know how Momma and baby are doing!
    Blessings on your new family,
    Cheri

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  14. Been enjoying reading through your personal history tonight. What a testimony to God's goodness. You have traveled a long way my new friend and it is neat to see that He has brought us to very similar places.
    I too have had the joy of birthing not one but two babies after age 40. My 3rd child was born on my 41st birthday and my 4th daughter was born shortly before I turned 44. Both times I worked with midwives so really got very little flack over my age or the testing thing. I also knew what I wanted and so quietly communicated that and no one argued. And by Gods grace all did go well and He did not test me with sicknesses or deformities.

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  15. Thanks for sharing your interesting story! I too turned down all the tests, and at 34 had my youngest son, who has Down syndrome. He is a joy and a blessing (he is now a teenager), and we thank God for sending him.

    That said, while I'm glad I didn't find out he had Ds until shortly after his birth, I have since learned that there are tests which can find some of the common health issues with Ds, particularly heart problems, so that doctors can be ready to treat those problems as soon as the baby is born. Of course, you need pro-life doctors for that, but I've found that God will send great physicians when you need them.

    Good post!

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  16. I read Barbara Frank's blog and she recommended coming by to read this. I am glad that I did. An inspiring story and one that reminds me I still have a long way to go in my walk with God.

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  17. This story is truly a blessing to read.It is so sad to see how far we even as "Christians"have gotten away from Jesus Christ and what HIS plans for our lives are. But I thank you for your testimony of how good GOD is and it is always exciting to read about someones experience with GOD's AMAZING GRACE AND MERCY!

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  18. Jennifer,
    You also have a wonderful testimony! Thank you for sharing :)
    Cheri

    Barbara,
    What wonderful words of wisdom. It is so sad the the medical world does not understand the blessings of a child even though they may have different needs than other children.
    Cheri

    Melissa,
    Thanks for coming by - hope to "see" you again!God will be faithful to guide you in your walk at just the right "pace" and "direction" for you!
    Cheri

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  19. Paige,
    Don't we serve an awesome God?! I also like reading about other's walk with God - it can be very encouraging and also instructional in my own life! Thanks for dropping by!
    Cheri

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