Of Retailers and Restaurants

Dear Retailers and Restaurants,

I spent the day yesterday visiting some of y'all.  Here's what needs to happen:

For the retailers:

1.  Change the music.  The majority of people in your stores were over the age of 40. Do you really think we want to hear that selection of music? Does most of your revenue come from 15 year old teens? Or were you playing it for the pleasure of your staff?

2.  Turn down the music. Most of us have no desire to shop in a "disco" environment!  Often the noise volume helped us decide to shop at your competitor's quieter store.

3.  Hire help. When you are a huge anchor store with two levels,  I believe there should be more than 3 people working on one level.  Seriously.

4.  Do some market research. Gear your stock towards whichever demographic spends the most money. I highly doubt it is really 12 to 16 year olds.

5.  During this time of year, please try to offer something in between the teeny-weeny bikini and the frumpy "old-lady" swim suits.  Some of us actually like to swim, be modest and fashionable at the same time.  I'm just saying.

6. Just a note about the people behind the make-up counters.  Do they have to wear ALL of your products at the same time?  They certainly don't look like real women...or what the average woman wants to look like...some are scary enough to make small children cry.  Perhaps you might try... *gasp* ... the natural look! As it is, most of us consider that area of your store comparable to the clown show at Ringling Brothers and keep on walking.

7. Could you assign someone to bring order to your departments?  Simple things like picking clothes up off the floor and putting your racks in order so customers could find what we are looking for without feeling like we're cleaning a child's room. We do that enough at home.

8.  Tell your staff to stop calling customers names.  "Honey", "sweetie", "sugar" and "sweetheart" are nice to hear from your hubby but not from the pimply-faced teenage boy working behind the counter.

For the restaurants:

1.  Turn down the music.  It's supposed to be "background" music.  Some of us actually like to talk to each other while we eat.  Without raising our voices.

2.  Tell your staff to keep their hands to themselves.  Why should a waiter feel it necessary to touch a customer every time he comes to the table? Stop that!

3. Without naming names...when two people order an "all you can eat" garden salad (with olives and hot peppers) and delicious garlic breadsticks from a wonderful Italian Restaurant, bring more than two cups of salad at a time. Oh, and the breadsticks shouldn't be the same consistency as a baseball bat.  Warm would be nice too...

4.  We don't want cute and silly waiters. Cute and silly are just irritating. Irritated people don't tip well. We want polite and efficient.  We tip for polite and efficient. Understand?

*Added suggestion from Debbie S.* Thanks Debbie!

5. Please don't set the A/C to below freezing with the ceiling fans going, as well. When I'm freezing and covered in goose bumps, I'm not going to linger over your coffee and high-priced desserts! Just sayin'.


You'll thank me in the end.

Thus ends my yearly shopping rant.