Friday, March 30, 2007

From the past to the present…I found God along the way…. (Pt.2)

Joshua and I settled into a routine.  Unless working, we were always together.  It was hard for me....I had such a heart to be at home with him all of the time.  And it was hard for him...why didn't Daddy call or visit? I worked for a man whose close friend managed professional ball players.  My boss helped them invest their money. My boss was also a Christian which made for a very enjoyable work place. He and his wife also took an active interest in Joshua and I and because of this life was much easier for us. When Joshua came down with spinal meningitis my boss was at the hospital with a truckload of gifts from Toys R Us (the nurses especially liked the radio with the PA system!) and the admonition to not worry about work - it would be there when I got back!  How good God was to provide a godly man, with compassion for a single Mom, as a boss!
I got married again and my new husband adopted Joshua.  Life was wonderful for about two years.  I was again a stay-at-home Mom and began homeschooling Josh.  This was early in the homeschooling movement.  Not much curriculum to choose from, you didn't talk about it except to your closest friends and family and you stayed inside during school hours. Then glorious news...I was pregnant again.  This time God graced me with another son, born on Friday the 13th (which appalled the nurses and silly!) by C-section after being allowed to labor.  This little one is now about to turn 17 and stands almost 6 feet tall.  He still has "sparkle-y eyes" as one of his Uncles used to say.  My husband suffered the loss of a job just after the birth of our baby.  A new job required some time apart and subsequently a move to a different state.  Many life changing events in a short time which began to effect change in our home.  It wasn't good but I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong.
As we settled into life in a little town in Georgia, I was thrilled to find myself pregnant again. But the cries of WHY??? followed quickly on the heels of a miscarriage.  I immersed myself in my family and home.  I desired to find other home schoolers and actually put an ad in the paper looking for them.  I found two.  But I had numerous calls from families wanting to know what homeschooling was....I explained (again and again!) and families began to pull their children from the public school system and home school them.  I soon had a large homeschooling support group.  I think we ended up with over 50 families!
Once again I awoke one morning to that inevitable queasy feeling. Yes, pregnant again! About this time I began to get the "don't you know what causes this?" lectures.  I didn't care.  My doctor informed me that my hormone levels indicated twins.  Perhaps something to do with my age which was creeping up there by this time.  I was 36.  Quite a bit past the 30 year mark that most doctors were saying was time to stop having babies.  But I began having trouble at about 12 weeks.  I set up an appointment with my doctors and they performed an ultrasound - they couldn't find either of the babies' heartbeats.  But they were cautious - they wanted to schedule another ultrasound 4 hours later at the hospital.  Do you know how long 4 hours can seem?  Decades!  We lived over an hour from this town so there was no point in going home to we spent time in town until the appointment.  I remember Joshua, who was 10 at the time, saying to me, "Have faith Mom, everything will be fine!"
We got to the hospital and when they found out that the purpose was to see if the babies had died, they cleared the room.  Now, does this make sense?  Wouldn't a woman want her family with her if she was to be told tragic news?  It is things like this that irk me about our medical system! However, about 3 minutes into the test they found one heartbeat!  They brought everyone back into the room!  My doctors informed me that I would need to be very careful for awhile.  That my body would either re-absorb the baby that died or that I might "deliver" it which could be dangerous for the other twin.  We would know in a short amount of time.  What odd feelings I experienced, deep grief and glorious joy simultaneously! I was so thankful to God that I still carried life within my womb!  "The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord!" Job. 1:21
We went home and I did take it easy for awhile.  I felt fine, nothing happened and life slowly returned to normal.  Josiah was born right on time and what a surprise he was.  He had blond hair and blue eyes.  His birth was my doctors allowed me to labor as long as I wanted to avoid another c-section, although they warned me that my bone structure just might not allow it.  For the first time I experienced back labor - the pain was beyond what I could ever have imagined.  After many hours, he was born early in the morning by c-section,  and was wide awake for hours.  It was a wonderful and peaceful time. He looked exactly like my Mother did as a child.  His eyes are now either a sky blue or a beautiful green depending on what he wears.  I suppose it is wrong for this brown eyed Mama to covet those beautiful eyes...but it is hard to resist!
Another job loss, and another move...this time back to Florida.  These life changing events also caused the problems to  grow. It was easier going back to people and places that we knew.   I will confess that I was not sorry to leave Georgia.  I know that there are wonderful places in Georgia but we weren't living in one of them :)  It was a small town still infected with much of the racial prejudice so common 50 years ago in the deep south.  I actually sat in a public restaurant with black friends and was spit on, endured nasty comments and was talked about and then later lectured by "well-meaning friends".  This was not the atmosphere that I wanted my boys raised in. I was glad to go.
We rented a small townhouse and met our neighbor lady named Pam.  Pam quickly became a part of our family.  She was going through a deep valley at the time and she spent a great deal of time with us.  My boys fell in love with her and she with them.  She has been a vital part of our family life for 14 years now and eventually joined us here in Tennessee when she needed to make a move to a new area.  We love having her close by again and seeing her often.
After a year we found a home and moved again.  I found out that I was pregnant again...gasp! the age of 42!


  1. I want you to know I have really been enjoying reading your story. Thank you for sharing all of this.

    I can empathize with the story of your twins. My second child was a twin, and a similar thing happened. It is such a strange feeling, to find that one has died, and yet be so relieved because it was thought that both had died. To find one alive is a miracle!

  2. Wow!!!! I am just now catching up. I love that you are sharing your story. Thanks!!!!!

  3. You certainly have an amazing story!

  4. Brandy,
    You can truly understand where few women can - such strange emotions to feel at the same time...thanks for your sweet comment.

    Mary Ellen,
    I miss seeing you - am looking forward to the field trip to the farm :)

    We have an amazing God who molds our lives as He sees fit. I am thankful for His love and care all of these years.

  5. Cheri,
    This is so fun; although we've never had a chance to sit down and talk, I feel like I'm sitting across the kitchen table with a cup of tea getting to know you a little bit through you sharing your story...blessings on your day~

  6. Hi Angie,
    Wouldn't it be fun to have a real cup of tea and get to know each other better :)

  7. So exciting! I can't wait for the rest of the story!

    On a side note, i ordered some salve from you a few weeks ago. It came so quickly and the sample of soap was wonderful. I plan to order some soon! Thanks so much!


  8. Hi Esther (oohhh, I love that name!)
    I'm glad you are enjoying the story and that you were pleased with my products :)


Related Posts with Thumbnails